Friday, February 23, 2007

Lucky or Lost

So I guess that I haven't been on here in awhile. Noah finally did get completely potty trained. Now I'm back to square one with Ben. Emily is now 1 year old and walking, laughing, and nothing but joy explodes from her face. Kiya is reading anything she can and getting into as much trouble as she can now that she's the oldest of 7 kids. Tony is in school now and work is crazy, which means he is gone alot. I know that it's for our future, but I miss him sooo much.

Many people think that being able to stay home with their children is either a blessing or an inconvenience. An inconvenience because that means that they can't buy the things that they want, or do the things they want, or even be who they want. A blessing because they don't miss a moment (which can even be a curse sometimes ex: whining, screaming, crying, etc.), they get to see all the smiles, and teach them to love completely (which I often see in my children). What happens when you lose yourself in either? What happens when you can't figure out if your blessed or not? Many people would wonder why I would wonder such a thing. I have a wonderful, beautiful, loving family. It also has grown rapidly, one minute I was engaged to a beautiful loving man, with the blink of an eye (or opening of a letter) I was a parent. Then next thing I know I have 3 more kids of my own. Don't get me wrong, I am a very lucky woman to have so much love around me. My kids are my world, and that's ok. But, some where in the whirlwind, I don't know if I became lucky or lost. I am not only a mom, but also, a woman. Sometimes that is forgotten.

5 comments:

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Amy Jo said...

thanks for being honest. Beyound that I dont know what to say. I wonder what John and I's future holds now that we have Colin and we are both going to be full time workers and John will be going to school. I worry that I will miss so much of Colin's life and John's.

amy said...

I think that it's important to try to find a balance. It's very difficult when your family has so much going on at one time, like we do. But you will soon find what your family dynamic is and it will flow as smoothly as Colin will let it. In my case there isn't anyway to slow down because everything is equally important, but you need to learn when your family needs you the most, and that's when nothing else matters. Other than that just take lots of pictures and enjoy every second that you do have because it goes by quicker than you realize. Congratulations!

Amy Jo said...

Amy sorry I missed you after church on sunday. I really wanted to talk to you.

amy said...

That's ok. Things get busy especially when there are so many people to talk to. I'll hopefully see you this week.